KASI GANUN, KASI GANYAN.

Bakit nga kaya dumadating tayo sa puntong kailangan nating iwan ang mga taong masyado tayong sinaktan? Bakit kaya hahantong sa kalimutan ang isang magandang pinagsamahan? Maraming tanong na bakit? Pero hindi masagot ng simpleng

“KASI GANUN, KASI GANYAN”

Ilang kaibigan na nga kaya ang nawala sa atin? Ilang kaibigan na nga kaya ang akala nila naalala mo pa sila pero hindi na pala? Gaano kahirap mang hula ng mga bagay tulad ng mahalaga ka pa ba sa kanila? Naalala ka pa ba nila? Kilala ka pa ba nila? O ikaw lang ang nag-iisip ng mga magugulong bagay kaya na prapraning ka sa kanila?

Bakit kailangan minsan humantong sa kalimutan? Hindi na ba kinaya ng magandang usapan? Kaya isang paspasang kalimutan na lang? May mga kaibigan na nananatiling kaibigan, mga kaibigan na abala din sa kani kanilang buhay, mga kaibigan na sadyang maasahan, tulad mo, tulad ka rin nila. Mga taong nag-aabang ng atensyon, mga taong ang hihintayan kung sino ang mauunang mangamusta at marami pang iba.

Minsan nawawala ang pagkakaibigan sa oras na nagkaka aminan na, ayaw ng maging kaibigan, pero gusto naman maging magkasintahan, pero hindi uubra ang gusto ng isa tapos ayaw naman ng isa, kung babalansehin eh mas mabigat ang ayaw sa gusto. Lagi namang ganun, kaya sa huli? Nawawala ang pakiramdam at pagkakaibigan.

Maraming katanungan na wala pa ring kasagutan. Kailan natin malalaman? Sa oras ba na huli na ang lahat? O sa oras na hindi pa huli ang lahat pero hindi ito umayon sa iyong inaasahan?

Sa dami ng tanong.. Mabuti na nga lang sigurong magkalimutan na lang.

 

-d♥

PSSST! PSSSST.

Kung sakaling iwanan ka n’ya ‘wag kang mag aalala nandito lang ako, handa akong makinig sa istorya mong pangteleserye buong magdamag, ‘yung balikat ko hindi ‘yan mangangalay pag sinandalan mo, handa ang mga kamay ko pang punas sa mga luha mo, hindi kita iiwanan hanggat makatulog ka sa tabi ko.

Pangako ko sayo, hinding hindi ako aalis sa tabi mo, pipilitin kong makinig kahit inaantok na ako, pipilitin ko parin tingnan yung mga mata mo kahit hindi ko kaya, dahil ayaw kong makitang nasasaktan ka. Yayakapin kita ng mahigpit ng parang walang katapusan. hindi ko bibitawan ang mga kamay mo, basta tawagin mo lang ako kapag sinaktan ka nya, kahit ang totoo mas nauna mo akong sinaktan dahil mas pinili mo s’ya.

-d♥
  

THOUGHT.

I don’t understand why some people think that since someone hurt you, you need to hurt them back to show them how it feels. That just makes you exactly like them, you should never want to hurt someone, even if they hurt you. Be the better person.

COLD. HEARTLESS. CALLOUS. JADED. ALONE (Not Your Typical Fairytale)

Cold. Heartless. Callous. Jaded. Alone.

 

Here is the story of a girl who has lived anything but a fairytale. Instead, she got her heart broken one too many times, trusted too many times, chose the wrong person too many times.

Once upon a time, this girl was probably normal… if you can call it that. Willing to trust, willing to love, willing to let herself be candid with someone. But, following that came the heartbreak, the betrayal, the rejection. Take this story and multiply it by five or 10, and you have the finished product: a heartless, jaded girl.

She safeguards her heart like no tomorrow and would rather perish than show any semblance of emotion. Not even a fairy godmother can fix her.

This girl who was once capable of love and feelings is now iced over and has no intention of showing her heart. She’s unable to let people in, does not know what communication and intimacy are beyond the physical and sexual level and has subconsciously protected her heart with the same level of the Swiss Guard.

She is either always in a f*ck-buddy type of situation or alone. She could be beautiful and warm on the outside, but inside, she’s cold because that’s what years of heartbreak will do to a girl.

She won’t text you first, not because she’s playing the game, but because she’s afraid. She won’t ask you personal questions out of fear that you’ll push her away. She’s grown accustomed to rejection, so she does all she can to avoid it.

Many people believe getting hurt will coerce you to grow and realize what you deserve. Realistically, though, being hurt can either stunt your growth by making you incapable of feeling or create a standard so high that even Prince Charming won’t be able to fulfill it.

The heartless girl is the one who has rendered herself incapable of sympathy and feelings. Opening up is bullsh*t to her and feelings are for the weak.

The physicality is temporarily enough for her, but secretly, she wants more, which is why she continuously gets her heart smashed into a million pieces when a guy tires of her. This leads her to benders and bad decisions for as long as it takes her to freeze over her heart once more.

She blames the guy, but half the time, it’s her fault.

When you’re cold, it’s truly difficult to communicate your feelings to people. This is why the series of friends-with-benefits and could-have-beens turn into nothing but sex. She pursues these endeavors because she believes sex is the only way in without exposing herself.

She has been in this situation one too many times, which is why it is a familiar place. The fear of standing up for how she really feels will not only show emotion, but also potentially lead to the loss of a person, and that’s the last thing she wants.

The heartless girl likes to live in the moment and savor the semblance of the “relationship” she has. She’d rather hold on to what’s good now instead of trying to grow and risk losing it.

She wants to be loved for being heartless, cold and jaded. The thing is, it rarely ever happens. She has taken risks previously and decided not to act in the same manner she deemed as foolish before.

Why wait for her glass slipper when there is no prince to bring it to her?

She’s brainwashed herself to believe emotions are for the weak, and after years of repeating it to herself, she stands by it. She believes she doesn’t care and that’s enough for her.

She wants someone to protect her, love her and never let her go, but past experiences have demonstrated that is unlikely for her. She’s too afraid of feelings and vulnerability associated with revealing things about herself.

It is a protective mechanism that causes the downfall of many of her relationships. Being heartless and cold after many years of painful, often self-induced heartbreak is why she is unable to share a real connection.

Getting to know more about a person makes you fall for him or her. Sex can only fulfill lust and infatuation, but it doesn’t fill the void of foundations you need to have to pursue anything beyond that.

To her, taking the next step and making a connection feels like giving herself to someone.

Feeling rejected is similar to the feeling naked and embarrassed. There is nothing worse to her than giving and not receiving anything in return. This is why, over the years, she has pushed away her feelings and emotions and acted like she hasn’t cared. She’s conditioned herself not to care.

She does it to protect herself from all the romance bullsh*t, and she knows there is no happily-ever-after for her, anyway.

Heartbreak has rendered her almost incapable of love and emotion because she never wants to feel that sharp pain pressing against her chest. She never wants to waste all those tissue boxes, puffy eyes or dazed days when she can’t forget his existence.

It took her so long to get back to being strong and independent (on the outside at least), so to her, no emotion is better than picking herself back up.

 -END-

-d♥

 

 

KARMA

Naniniwala ako sa karma.

 

Na kung ano ang ibigay mo sa kalawakan ay siyang ibabalik nito sa’yo nang may interes pang kasama. Ilang beses ko nang isinilid sa garapon ang puso ko at itinapon ito sa dagat sa pag-asa na may makakahanap sa kanya at magbabalik sa akin nito ng buo pa.

 

Pero ang tagal na at wala pa akong nakukuha.

 

Kaya kung sakali lang na makita mo ang puso ko na inanod sa aplaya; iniisip kung anong gagawin sa kanya – itatabi, itatapon o ipagsasawalang-bahala, maghihintay ako sa desisyon mo.

 

Maniwala ka sa’kin. Maghihintay ako.

 

Ibalik mo sana.

 

-d♥

uhmmm. i miss the old you, because the new one sucks.

I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you.

How good you look when you smile. How much I love your laugh. I daydream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversations; laughing at funny things that you said or did.

I’ve memorized your face and the way that you look at mine. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine.

I wonder what will happen the next time we are together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure; you’re one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

-d♥

IT’S THE ACTION.

You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times.

But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by.

 

It’s actions, not words, that matter.

 

-D♥