MAGHINTAY AY DI BIRO.

Mahirap mag hintay sa isang tao na walang kasiguraduhang dadating ito. ‘Yung parati kana lang aasa sa mga salitang “sa tamang panahon” at   “Maghintay ka lang, dadating din yan”. Pero kahit alam mong .0999 percent lang ang chance na makita at dumating s’ya sa buhay mo, wala ka paring magagawa kung hindi ang maghintay, hanggang sa mapagod ka, hanggang sa sumuko ka.

Sawang sawa na kasi ako maghintay. Araw-araw na lang nasa harap ako ng pinto, nakaabang, umaasang dadating s’ya, umaasang pag silip ko sa bintana s’ya agad ‘yung makikita ko, dahil naniniwala akong s’ya ‘yung magbabalik ng mga ngiti sa aking labi at saya sa aking mukha.

Pero kahit ilang oras ko s’yang hintayin ngayon, mukhang imposibleng makikita ko si Manong. Ang dahilan ng araw-araw na pagtambay ko sa harap ng pintuan namin at pag dungaw sa aming bintana. Ang nag babalik ng ngiti sa aking labi at saya sa aking mukha pag nakikita ko s’ya. Pag nakikita ko s’yang marami pang binatog ang tinitinda n’ya.

Mukhang pinaasa nanaman ako ni Manong dahil dapat kanina pa s’ya dumaan, pero tatlong oras na ang nakakalipas wala parin s’ya. Wala parin yung “ting ting ting ting” na tunog kapag malapit na s’ya. Wala parin ‘yung matandang lalaking naka bike na may dalawang timba sa likod n’ya.

Ganun nga siguro, kapag hinihintay mo ang isang tao, lalo itong hindi magpapakita sa’yo, pero kapag hindi mo hinahanap nandyan lang sya sa tabi mo. Ewan, ang gulo kasi ni tadhana minsan. Pero bigla kong naisip, paano pala kung dumaan na si manong kanina? Napa-aga lang pala s’ya kaya hindi ko naabutan. O kaya naman sa paghihintay ko may nakita akong pagkain sa lamesa kaya ‘yun ‘yung mas napansin ko. Parang kung sino ‘yung nand’yan kahit hindi ‘yun ‘yung gusto mo, s’ya parin ‘yung pipiliin mo dahil minsan sumusuko agad tayo, hindi tayo nagiging ma-tyaga at nagiging atat tayo kaya sa huli hindi tayo nagiging kuntento at hahanap-hanapin mo parin ‘yung gusto mo. Tapos magsisisi ka na sana naghintay na lang ako, at masasabi mo na lang na sana kahit hindi ka ngayon dumating, sana bukas bumalik ka.

……………………………..

“Ting ting ting ting” Napaiktad ako sa talon nung marinig ko ang busina ni Manong. Para akong nabuhayan ng dugo’t laman at biglang nalibugan sa binatog ni manong na kanina ko pa inaasam asam. “Hindi ko na to palalampasin” iniisip ko habang tumatakbo with slooww moottiooonn papuntang pintuan. Pag bukas ko ng pinto. “Paaaaaabiiiiliiiii poooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!” with confidence ganun.

Pero pag lapit ko. tuuunnggiiinnuuu!! Pinagong pala. bwisit. Parang akala mo s’ya na, hindi pa pala.

Ang saket sa heart </3

 

-d♥

TANGGAPIN MONA, YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL.

Minsan kailangan nating tanggapin na hindi natin hawak ang mundo, na ikaw ay isa lang sa mahigit pitong bilyon na taong naninirahan dito. Siguro bida ka sa sarili mong kwento pero hindi sa iba.

Kontrolado mo ang sarili mo pero hindi ang ibang tao. P’wede mong gawin ang gusto mo pero may hangganan at limitasyon ito.

Hindi mababago ang mundo kung mawala ka man ngayon dahil hindi naman sayo umiikot ito.

Isa kalang sa mga nakikipag-sapalaran sa buhay, Isa ka lang sa mga nakikipag-laban sa tunay na pag-ibig, isa ka lang sa mga naghihintay ng jeep, isa ka lang sa mga pumapasok ng umaga, isa ka lang sa mga nagtitiis, isa ka lang sa mga umaasa at ‘wag mong isiping kapag nawala ka, mag babago ang lahat dahil kahit tumigil ka pa sa paglalakad mo ngayon sa daan, Lahat parin sila gumagalaw, lahat parin sila patuloy ang buhay dahil isa ka lang sa karamihan and you’re not special.

 

-D♥

HELLO 2016! ♥

Okay, I’ll be honest with you. You scared me at first.

I was scared because I didn’t feel ready. Because my 2015 New Year’s resolution list was barely accomplished. Because I looked at you before and all I saw was fog—as if I had a vague future with you. See, you brought with you good-byes in the form of break up and carried with you a ton of anxiety in the form of career path soul searching.

As you approached, my heart thumped louder than the fireworks. My head screamed along with the chants: three, I hope time would stop, two, universe please slow down, and one—Um, hi 2016.

So if you didn’t notice, my palms were sweaty as I shook your hand. As you hugged me hello, it felt like suffocation.

I was scared of you.

And yet, you held my hand and brought me to numerous places I could call home. You helped me explore the Earth and meet a ton of people. You gave me adventures. And for that I am thankful. In our 365 days together— such a short time in this planet’s timeline—you gave me a sense of infinity.

Even in my rough moments with you—painful, lonely, tragic moments—I am thankful. Because now, as we depart, you are leaving me with so much strength. I don’t have to cover my ears as the fireworks shoot to the sky, and now, I can happily chant with the people: three, you’ve been great, two, I’m excited, and one—hello, 2016. I’m glad I can finally meet you!

You were spectacular, 2015. Thank you. ♥

 

-D♥

COLD. HEARTLESS. CALLOUS. JADED. ALONE (Not Your Typical Fairytale)

Cold. Heartless. Callous. Jaded. Alone.

 

Here is the story of a girl who has lived anything but a fairytale. Instead, she got her heart broken one too many times, trusted too many times, chose the wrong person too many times.

Once upon a time, this girl was probably normal… if you can call it that. Willing to trust, willing to love, willing to let herself be candid with someone. But, following that came the heartbreak, the betrayal, the rejection. Take this story and multiply it by five or 10, and you have the finished product: a heartless, jaded girl.

She safeguards her heart like no tomorrow and would rather perish than show any semblance of emotion. Not even a fairy godmother can fix her.

This girl who was once capable of love and feelings is now iced over and has no intention of showing her heart. She’s unable to let people in, does not know what communication and intimacy are beyond the physical and sexual level and has subconsciously protected her heart with the same level of the Swiss Guard.

She is either always in a f*ck-buddy type of situation or alone. She could be beautiful and warm on the outside, but inside, she’s cold because that’s what years of heartbreak will do to a girl.

She won’t text you first, not because she’s playing the game, but because she’s afraid. She won’t ask you personal questions out of fear that you’ll push her away. She’s grown accustomed to rejection, so she does all she can to avoid it.

Many people believe getting hurt will coerce you to grow and realize what you deserve. Realistically, though, being hurt can either stunt your growth by making you incapable of feeling or create a standard so high that even Prince Charming won’t be able to fulfill it.

The heartless girl is the one who has rendered herself incapable of sympathy and feelings. Opening up is bullsh*t to her and feelings are for the weak.

The physicality is temporarily enough for her, but secretly, she wants more, which is why she continuously gets her heart smashed into a million pieces when a guy tires of her. This leads her to benders and bad decisions for as long as it takes her to freeze over her heart once more.

She blames the guy, but half the time, it’s her fault.

When you’re cold, it’s truly difficult to communicate your feelings to people. This is why the series of friends-with-benefits and could-have-beens turn into nothing but sex. She pursues these endeavors because she believes sex is the only way in without exposing herself.

She has been in this situation one too many times, which is why it is a familiar place. The fear of standing up for how she really feels will not only show emotion, but also potentially lead to the loss of a person, and that’s the last thing she wants.

The heartless girl likes to live in the moment and savor the semblance of the “relationship” she has. She’d rather hold on to what’s good now instead of trying to grow and risk losing it.

She wants to be loved for being heartless, cold and jaded. The thing is, it rarely ever happens. She has taken risks previously and decided not to act in the same manner she deemed as foolish before.

Why wait for her glass slipper when there is no prince to bring it to her?

She’s brainwashed herself to believe emotions are for the weak, and after years of repeating it to herself, she stands by it. She believes she doesn’t care and that’s enough for her.

She wants someone to protect her, love her and never let her go, but past experiences have demonstrated that is unlikely for her. She’s too afraid of feelings and vulnerability associated with revealing things about herself.

It is a protective mechanism that causes the downfall of many of her relationships. Being heartless and cold after many years of painful, often self-induced heartbreak is why she is unable to share a real connection.

Getting to know more about a person makes you fall for him or her. Sex can only fulfill lust and infatuation, but it doesn’t fill the void of foundations you need to have to pursue anything beyond that.

To her, taking the next step and making a connection feels like giving herself to someone.

Feeling rejected is similar to the feeling naked and embarrassed. There is nothing worse to her than giving and not receiving anything in return. This is why, over the years, she has pushed away her feelings and emotions and acted like she hasn’t cared. She’s conditioned herself not to care.

She does it to protect herself from all the romance bullsh*t, and she knows there is no happily-ever-after for her, anyway.

Heartbreak has rendered her almost incapable of love and emotion because she never wants to feel that sharp pain pressing against her chest. She never wants to waste all those tissue boxes, puffy eyes or dazed days when she can’t forget his existence.

It took her so long to get back to being strong and independent (on the outside at least), so to her, no emotion is better than picking herself back up.

 -END-

-d♥

 

 

Can i install love?

 

can i install love?

 

Tech Support: Thank you for calling tech support for HOS – that’s Human Operating Systems. How can I be of assistance?

Customer: Well I’ve had this Love Program sitting around for a while and finally decided to install it. But it seems a bit complicated and I don’t want to mess it up. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Absolutely. That’s why I’m here. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: I think so.

Tech Support
: Great. Let’s go. The first step is to check for any potentially conflicting programs that might be running in your heart .

Customer: Sounds good. How do I do that?

Tech Support: First hit Ctrl, Alt, Delete all at the same time. Got it?

Customer: Yes.

Tech Support: Great: Now click on the tab that says Heart Applications. Do you see that?

Customer: I do. Got it.

Tech Support: Perfect. What applications are running.

Customer: I see Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, we’ll have to uninstall the Grudge and Resentment programs. They prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and click on the Forgiveness program. You may need to do this several times in order to completely erase Grudge and Resentment from the system. In fact, I recommend that most people run their forgiveness program at least once a day.

Customer: I can see what you mean. It feels like this might take a while.

Tech Support: I can wait. Take your time…

Customer: Okay, done! And it seems like Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error – Program not run on external components.” What should I do? *

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Go to the Start Menu again and click on the Self-Acceptance program. Got it?

Customer: Yes. It’s running.

Tech Support: Great now go to the modules drop-down menu and check the boxes next to: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Perfect. Now, click on the box that says “Copy new modules to Heart Directory.” And then click on the “OK” button. Once you do that, the system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.

Customer: Done… Hey! I can feel my heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Shareware. And the interesting thing is that the more you share it with others the more stable your personal installation will become. So be sure to pass it along to everyone you meet.

Customer: I’ll definitely do that. Thank you so much,.

Tech Support: Thank YOU for installing Love!

 

-d♥

FEB

I am the kind of girl who enjoys the chase.

I get a thrill when it comes to winning someone over and making them fall in love with me.

Then, when rough times start to emerge, I run off kicking and screaming. I analysed my actions once, and came to the conclusion that I’m afraid of getting too close to someone because I’m scared to get hurt.

When someone takes one step forward, I take three steps back. I’ve done this my whole life. It is my greatest downfall, the reason I have lost so many :/

-dree♥

*SIGH*

Those nights where you toss and turn in bed trying to fall asleep, but your mind won’t allow you. You just lay there and think.
You think about every single possible thing that is going on in your life.You think of your friends,your family ,your problems,your feelings and your worries. Or maybe you don’t and you end up just reminiscing about the past. About the people who disappeared on you, and who changed the way are. In those moments where you can’t fall asleep, that’s when you do all of your thinking and you know what? it’s scary.

 

-DREE ♥

SCIENCE CLASS

Isko Teaching high school students:

Isko: Ok, recall. matter is anything that occupies space and has mass. Note, occupies space AND (emphasis on and) has mass. Dapat ma satisfy yung dalawa. Di pwedeng isa lang. Di pwedeng may mass lang. Di pwedeng occupies space lang.

Halimbawa, itong mesa na ito, matter ba ito? check natin. 1. It occupies space naman in our class room. 2. May mass ba sya?

S: Yes sir

Isko: Yes! Correct, what about this chair?

S: Yes sir

Isko: correct!! What about Love?

S: (nawindang)

Isko: Does love occupy space?

S: (silent)

Isko: Yes! it occupies space! in your heart! right? but, it does not have mass.. Therefore it’s not matter. What MATTERs is the one you love, aside from occupying space, meron syang mass. See? Love doesn’t matter, the one that matters is the one you love.

 

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Dear you,

I miss the way my morning always starts with your sweet morning messages. This brings not only the drive for me to wake up with a good start but also the grin plastered on my face almost throughout the day.

I miss how you insist I continue talking to you when I had other obligations to do. It makes me laugh and yet my heart melts for how much you don’t get bored of almost conversing with me everyday.

I miss the times when you call out of a sudden because you claim to miss me so much even when our daily lives almost revolving around each other. Hearing your voice was simply enough to make my day no matter what crap we talked about.

Your company was something I have always enjoyed,even when the duration was short. I miss how you continued to hold my hand even when fights occur and I insist to let go of your hands.When our fingers intertwine, it makes me feel safe and somehow I could sense how proud you were to show me off to others.

I miss the way you surprise me with our food tripping dates.You know too well how much love I have with it and that is why you plan it every time. In all honesty, I love you more when you take note of the things I love. I miss the way you look at me when we lock eyes.

If there is one thing I love about people, it’s their eyes.The way your eyes sparkle with glee when you lay your eyes on me and how a grin follows afterwards, you make me fall madly in love with you.

So tell me,do you miss what I miss?

Love,

M♥

HE HAS A PLAN.

I Havent write a blog for more than 3 months now, for those months i’ve been through a lot. imean alot. lols

i got into multiple fights, resign from my job and now figuring out  which path should i take now.

Then one ordinary day while im browsing my twitter feeds this tweet caught my eye, it says :

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28, NLT)

I’ve realized everyone goes through things that don’t seem to make sense. It’s easy to get discouraged and wonder, “Why did this happen to me?” “Why did this person treat me wrong?” “Why did I get laid off?” But we have to understand, even though life is not always fair, God is fair. And, He promises to work all things together for good & for those who love Him.

I believe the key word in this verse is “together.” In other words, you can’t just isolate one part of your life and say, “Well, this is not good.” “It’s not good that I got laid off.”

“It’s not good that my relationship is not working , lost my fckng job and now undergone some family issues.

Yes, that’s true, but ive realized that it’s just one part of your life. God can see the big picture. That disappointment is not the end. Remember, when one door closes, God has another door for you to walk through — a better door.

Those difficulties and challenges are merely stepping stones toward your brighter future. Be encouraged today because God has a plan for you to rise higher. He has a plan for you to come out stronger. He has a plan to work all things together for your good so that you can move forward in the victory he has prepared for you.

– DREE ♥